Uterinity
Pwylla: hey, so if itz ok with you ... i think i'm gonna leave out the office early today and work from home
Married Male Colleague: sure, i guess thatz ok...
Pwylla: cool, because my uterus is _killing_ me.
Married Male Colleague: ...
Pwylla: ... and if i stay here any longer it could possibly kill you, too.
Married Male Colleague: oh yeah, i totally understand. i have a uterus at home.
Exit Stage Right
This is a new warning sign from the IAEA for "ionizing radiation". They advise that it be considered a supplemental warning to the traditional 'trefoil' which evidently wasn't clear enough about the need to run away from radiation.
I just thought you'd like to know that there are people out there looking out for you... with signage... and stuff.
Lessons of the Demon Car
During the great methcrash psychodrama fallout the summer of 94, when my friends and extended roommates all kinda went buggy at about the same time, facing a state of seemingly perpetual couchsurfing and student loan deferrals, i acquired a demon car. I got it for essentially next to nothing, which was exactly what i had at the time, so itz not like i had much choice. I've mentioned the tercel before, and detailed some of itz afflictions, but i don't think i explained that it was, in fact, a demon car.
I knew it was possessed from the moment i saw it. It had been in a bad front end collision, and had no grill. The radiator gleamed menacingly at the world, itz turning fan blades maniacally bared... Dont think in any way that it was a sad-looking beat-up car. No, it was a clearly dangerous car, ready to come up on you all mad max beyond thunderdome style with no heed to potential personal death or maiming. As i said, i had no real choice in the selection of the car at the time. In fact it pretty much came to me as a gift - i only had to pay to get it fixed enough to pass inspection. You can't look a gift car in the mouth, even if it is a demon car sent by netherspawn to kill you.
And in the life and death struggle of wills between us that would last for more than three years, i learned how to bind and control the maleficent auto, and occasionally even compel it to perform tasks of conveyance for me. That time taught me to be neurotically vigilant, in constant awareness of the fact that things were ready to go off the rails at any minute, devolve into a fiery crash, multilation, and/or expensive repairs.
More than 10 yrs later, even though i live in the city now and no longer need to own any car, i realize that the lessons the demon car taught me are still extremely important and relevant. Over time it taught me to just let go. When it would swerve spontaneously into adjacent lanes on the interstate, it reaffirmed for me that control is an illusion. When it decided it didn't need to restart after having been driven anywhere for periods longer than 45 minutes or on hot summer days, i learned to accept that plans change without warning, and that there must be bigger forces in the universe somewhere, who for some reason felt i needed to stay wherever i was for a little while longer. And the carbon monoxide leak that required keeping a window open as i drove served as a passive reminder that unseen forces, even (or perhaps most especially) neutral ones, were likely always lurking around to my possible detriment, and i had to look out for myself.
Lessons of the Demon Car Summarized:
- Let go
- Control is an illusion
- Plans change
- Look out for yourself
Psychonauts
Let me just say that obsessive compulsive potential sociopaths are exactly what NASA recruits, whether they want to admit it or not. Any claims that this one somehow slipped thru the psychological test battery and/or blew a mental gasket unexpectedly, all after-the-fact and shit, are namby pamby word play. You want your astronauts to be competitive, mentally focused and able to override typical reactions to the potential of physical harm. Any person capable of ignoring the fact that they are hurtling thru space at mach 5+ on top of a grain silo full of extremely flammable chemicals is also gonna be capable of driving 900+ miles non-stop in diapers to terminate a potential rival. In fact, we should be suprised this doesn't happen more often.
Shaddup Already Cassandra
Welcome to the next 75 years of 'I told you so'. Technically it could be centuries, of 'I told you so', but I'm betting we probably won't make it past 2080, anyway. And i agree that job one in the war on warming is to arrest
the damage we've done at this point - seek to minimize further
emissions, and find renewable, clean energy sources. But honestly, I dont think those measures alone will actually help all that much in the long run. See, even if the entirety of humanity suddenly stopped emitting any and all greenhouse gasses at 3 o'clock this afternoon, your grandchildren will likely still be fighting their neighbors for water and resources after 2050, due to the tab we've already run up in just the last 50 years.
There is a key realization we are required to make if we want to survive climate change as a species. We have to realize that we are part of the system. Interventions that focus on reducing our footprint in the system will never be long term solutions. The system is changing. And as part of that system we too must change: We need to evolve thick, lizard-like scales in the place of our skin and totally re-engineer our bodily cooling processes.
Get to mutating, bitches.
Be My Guest
Because of Conrad Hilton, i now know what a rhododendron looks like. Thanks, I think. I probably would never have noticed such a fugly excuse for wall decoration, except that over the last few months i've stayed at this same doubletree hotel every other week or so, and although i have had a different room every time, each one of them has had this picture on the wall in the bedroom suite.
Meanwhile, i've decided that my current client is the best client on earth. They are sincere, optimistic, well-meaning... and damn i need that right now. Usually, i would trust a sincere client as far as i could throw them, but these folks seem for real. Also, i don't mind the occasional travel. I am actually diggin the one hr acela express ride from nyc to phili. Some of the best graffiti can only be seen from the train.
Also, if i wasn't passing through 30th street station so frequently, i would never have found out about Bridgewaters. This is not your everyday run of the mill train station pub. Let me set you straight. They have a rotating selection of very nice domestic and import beers. Tonight I had Rare Vos on tap. They also have Jever this month. Warsteiner. Franzikaner. Rogue Dead Guy Ale. I could go on. NY Penn station could learn a thing or two.
And although 99% of my time in phili is spent in the suburbs near the client site, i love being in center city, even if it's just passing thru. If i believed in past lives i think i had one there.