Dinner Conversation
Veeej: Well a sex toy is all well and fine but it won't listen to you.
Pwylla: What does that have to do with it?!?
Veeej: Isn't that what all women need? A man to listen to them?
Pwylla: No, sweetie, men don't have to listen. They just have to do what they're told.
If You're Gonna Step, Step Correct
Itz been probably over a year since i last felt any inkling of really caring about an updated blogroll and all the other blogly concerns related to link-whuffie. I mean, after i started using bloglines and other hosted apps to read feeds, my own blogroll became less important to me functionally, but i kept it for reciprocality's sake. I guess because itz a separate (orphaned) page on the site, or probably because i set it up all wacked or something, technorati's little spiders never count LGP as linking to anyone... i guess i would have to claim that single page as my blog or something to get it to work. I dunno, but i don't care technically.
So itz quite hypocritical of me to expect all you hosers out there who do link to me to take note of my new domain name and correct your blogroll links to "LowGradePanic.com"... but still, i'd like that.
How to Make a Day Special...
Start drinking before noon.
Woe, Travail, Gnashing Teeth
So everything still pretty much sucks. And the suckiest suckingness is the sucking itself. I hate all this and am about to start blaming everyone else. Yes, in fact, fuck you. Itz all your fault.
System Diagnostics
The accuracy of initial screening tests is questionable:
"Major Depression (10-15) You have endorsed many of the symptoms commonly seen in people who suffer from major depression. You should be concerned about these symptoms and it is likely that close friends and family members are also concerned. It is highly recommended that you consider seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist for an evaluation. Depression is a serious disorder but is highly treatable."No way - i've been depressed before and this really doesn't even come close. Sadness isn't always a self-destructive force. Sometimes you really do gotta wallow in it a little. This is my "me time" and fuck you if you think i am gonna share it with a therapist. Me, a bottle and the TV - thatz all it takes to sort this shit out.
"Mild Anxiety (1-4) Some of the items you responded to are symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder and other disorders in this category. Your general symptoms may be mild, but it might be wise to look into those items which you endorsed to determine if they are resulting in difficulties in your life. "If i have any anxiety, it's about not having anxiety. And even then, itz mild.
"Borderline Sexual Addiction Symptoms (1-3) Your responses indicate that your sexual behavior has resulted in some negative consequences. It may not be affecting your life in a major way at this point, but do you best to keep it in check."Right-o. No more anonymous sex, then...
Personally, i would characterize my current psychological state as one of intense ambivalence towards the future. Resulting in a lack of cognitive and emotional investment in my person or immediate environment. This could explain the avoidance of bathing.
Blog Is Not Dead Post
Still here just not finding words for things. Have either temporarily disengaged my self-referential positioning, or had it kicked into hyperdrive. Can't tell. Either way, end result is the frequent intrusion of sudden non-sequiturs into my thinking and communication. And odd moments of what seems like complete and total vapidity. Something in the background is eating up processing power. System hangs... reboot.
Of the Cosmos
travis, driving back with you
from the ranch that time
i told you, i swore
i'd never throw stones
who or what ever,
what deep sorrow, pain
or sadness -
it wasn't mine to judge
nor claim to be anything
even slightly approaching a
good example
don't lay that shit on me
and we laughed
but
itz funny
you said
then
how many fucked up people
there were
who
could look at their families
and say
that's what did it
those twisted freaks
who
ruined my life
and squarely
all the blame
so easily lays there
but not us
no
if anything
ever could be their
fault,
that horrible
thing they did to us
it was mostly that they were too cool
too wonderful
and right
to ever prepare us
for the
real world
and
the
uselessness
of it