Wednesday El Gato Bloggin
i just pay the bills. he runs the place.
I Hate the Intarweb
I have spent more hours than i've slept in the last two days wrestling
with a corporate website upgrade. And i have decided that i hate
"websites". I love blogs, and i love feeds. But damn those
websites all to hell. With their site architecture trees two and
three files deep, and their daisy-chain circle jerk linky madness, all
to allow recursive pathing to the index page and back. And even
if i never
have to think about up and down button states that look like crap on
all but one browser again, it will still be too soon.
Don't even get me started on cascading stylesheets for websites.
The concept rox, but only if you have had flawless implementation from
V1.0 of the site, and gawd help you if you have to revise substantial
content or expand the site structure. Universal updates my ass -
you're still touching every damn page, breaking things and wiggin out
the styles - might as well raze the mofo to the ground and start over.
Everything should be a blog... well, on second thought, LGP has
some DIV issues on the left sidebar that i've given up on trying to
fix.. but in fact, it hasn't been a priority for me since i MYSELF
really only read my website in my feedreader... hell - everything
should just be a frikkin feed.
While we're at it, screw ALL graphical user interface aesthethics. Fuck it! Let's go back to Pine and Elm!
Hardwired
You are an AND gate!
You don't like being told what to do. One person
wants you to agree, the other doesn't and you
slap both of them in the face. Your bold
outlook lets nothing through. You demand
everyone to agree with you, or else you won't
budge.
What Kind Of Logic Gate Are You?
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Solipsistic Psycho
Coming from a long line of addicts and self-destructors, i had always
assumed i was neurotic, rather than psychotic. But after perusing
a little too much Wikipedia, i begin to wonder if maybe i have actually
always been a passively-aggressive psycho.... Because - altho my first response
to stress is to act inwards, exhibiting predilections to depression and
isolation - sooner or later i definitely start to act out, often in a
pointed and calculated fashion, but none-the-less encompassing and
persuasive for any poor souls with a reality contingent to mine.
I mean, there are times when things just get a little bit buggy.
And the world just looks a certain way, you know, at certain
times. And you get confused, and all.... and before you know it,
you're putting dead toads in his mailbox, or keying his car, or fucking
his best friend or something. So, yeah... drama, baby, drama.
Anyways, i thought i'd take a more clinical approach (if still
completely amateur) and identify which of the following psychosis-related
formal thought disorders I have exhibited with any frequency:
| Thought Disorder | Description | Yes / No |
| Pressure of speech | An increase in the amount of spontaneous speech compared to what is considered customary | Yes |
| Distractible speech | During mid speech, the subject is
changed in response to a stimulus. e.g. "Then I left San Francisco and
moved to... where did you get that tie ?" | Yes |
| Tangentiality | Replying to questions in an oblique, tangential or irrelevant manner. e.g. "What city are you from ?", "Well, that's a hard question. I'm from Iowa. I really don't know where my relatives came from, so I don't know if I'm Irish or French". | Fuck yeah |
| Derailment | Ideas slip off the track on to another which is
obliquely related or unrelated. e.g. "The next day when I'd be going
out you know, I took control, like uh, I put bleach on my hair in
California".
|
Totally |
| Incoherence (word salad) | Speech that is unintelligible due
to the fact that, though the individual words are real words, the
manner in which they are strung together results in incoherent
gibberish, e.g. the question "Why do people believe in God?" elicits a
response like "Because make a twirl in life, my box is broken help me
blue elephant. Isn't lettuce brave? I like electrons, hello."
|
Ok, not so much |
| Illogicality | Conclusions are reached that do not follow logically (non sequiturs or faulty inductive inferences). | All the time |
| Clanging | Sounds rather than meaningful relationships appear to govern words. e.g. "I'm not trying to make noise. I'm trying to make sense. If you can't make sense out of nonsense, well, have fun". | NO |
| Neologisms | New word formations. e.g. "I got so angry I picked up a dish and threw it at the geshinker". | Complee-totallee |
| Word approximations | Old words used in a new and unconventional way. e.g. "His boss was a seeover". | Lasciviously |
| Circumstantiality | Speech that is very delayed at reaching its goal. Excessive long windedness. | Some have said |
| Loss of goal | Failure to show a chain of thought to a natural conclusion. | Well, hey, what's a "natural conclusion", exactly? |
| Perseveration | Persistent repetition of words or ideas. e.g. "I'll think I'll put on my hat, my hat, my hat, my hat, my hat, my hat, my hat, my hat..." | Yeah, yeah, yeah... but not all Rainman-like or anything... |
| Echolalia | Echoing of other people's speech e.g. "Can we talk for a few minutes?", "Talk for a few minutes". | NO |
| Blocking | Interruption of train of speech before completed. | What was I doing? |
| Stilted speech | Speech excessively stilted and formal. e.g. "The attorney comported himself indecorously". | Never! |
| Self-reference | Patient repeatedly and inappropriately refers back to self. e.g. "What's the time?", "It's 7 o'clock. That's my problem". | I have a blog. Where you can read about my problems. |
| Phonemic paraphasia | Mispronounciation; syllables out of sequence. e.g. "I slipped on the lice broke my arm". | Nope |
| Semantic paraphasia | Substitution of inappropriate word. e.g. "I slipped on the coat, on the ice I mean, and broke my book". | Yes, selective and freudian |
So, what's that? About 14 out of 18 psychotic indicators. Consider this a fair warning.
But Mostly, I Just Like to Say the Word "Semiotics"
You are a Theory Slut. The true elite of the
postmodernists, you collect avant-garde
Indonesian hiphop compilations and eat journal
articles for breakfast. You positively live
for theory. It really doesn't matter what
kind, as long as the words are big and the
paragraph breaks few and far between.
What kind of postmodernist are you!?
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Bucket of Truth
Every couple of years or so i have to be reminded that i can not drink
tequila. This is a periennial event, evidently, that no amount of
logic, cautionary advice, or prior experience has the power to preempt.