Client's Favorite Word
Pwylla: Here are the 4 master project plans that consolidate all of the functional development you are considering for each of the product streams this year.
Client: Great, are they executable?
Pwylla: Well, in theory, sure. But currently, only ONE of the 12 development efforts has any hard start dates or requirements specifications yet. You must make some strategic direction decisions in order to 'execute' them. Which is why I have built this dashboard of work effort estimates for each item.
Client: Sure. But are they executable?
Pwylla: Yes, as long as you realize that part of executing any workplan is revising, updating and maintaining it regularly. Particularly after requirements gathering has actually occured.
Client: And then they will be executable?
Pwylla: Like a death row inmate in Texas.
Leveling Within Slack
The title of this blog entry is what I should be doing right now. But at this point the gantt charts are making me cross-eyed, so instead I thought I would simply slack.
These aren't as interesting as Ko's, but I too feel the need to provide info for some of LGP's recent accidental readers:
- Fnord: You either know what this word means or you don't. It's not the kind of word for which a simple definition will suffice. In fact, 'fnord' is more fnord of an experience fnord than a thing fnord. What I can tell you is that some of the fnords on LGP are cleverly hidden in the blue blox up top. If you really want to begin to understand fnords, read this.
- Bananas in Pajamas song: I personally don't know this song all that well, really. This is who you should ask about B1 and B2. And Jazz Hands.
- Aaron Sorkin current project: After last week's premiere, itz clear that the Sorkin vibe is fading from the West Wing series... CasaChristy and I were trying to get him to run for president this next year instead, but he's not declared yet.
- Rubbernekkin: This is what herds of humans do instead of moving along when there is an accident or altercation on the highway.
- post mortem photo poultry: get help. seriously.
Forest 4 The Trees Action
My dad is an ex-marine jarhead Order of the Arrow Eagle Scout, and so I grew up being exposed to wilderness survival camping. Now I know that most other semi-urban 33 yr olds didn't get to kill and eat rattlesnake, nor try to find their way back to camp using only the freakin North star, a map and a compass. Still I never understood why Blair Witch was supposed to be scary.
Having lived in NYC for a few years now, I can see how this can happen. It is a wilderness of a form here in the city ... but evidently not the form that can prepare you for day hikes in the Poconos.
If Ur Looking 4 Me Check Under The Sea
Have I been under a rock? I just found out that Harry Goz, the voice of Capt Murphy on Sealab 2021 passed away Sept 10. This is one of my favorite characters, on one of my favorite shows, and truly a great loss.
"It makes real cupcakes with a 40-watt bulb. And it has icing packets. But the secret ingredient is love, DAMMIT!"- Captain Hank Murphy (Happy Cakes Episode)
Saturday Not In the Park
We appreciate audience feedback. Some of our regular readership have complained regarding the decreased quantity and quality of LGP blog entries. (Like I said before, I blame the RRPF. *sigh.* Good help is hard to find.) Still we are nothing if not customer responsive, so we wanted to let you know that we have instituted a plan of frequent public floggings for any Dry, Inc staff meme-bers who slack, attack, and/or look at us funny. We expect you will soon see vast improvements.
Other business today, on yet another Saturday in a string of seven day work weeks:
- Money is still tite. Looking for additional income. I didn't qualify for this loan but you may.
- Whether he knew it or not, Jonas is supposed to be entertaining me right now (as I am stuck working on this computer) by mobloggin his geocache adventures today on the pacifica - auf weidersehen! tour. I need vicarious phun rite now something serious, so I am stalking his site all day. Even if he doesnt upload in 'real time' tho, i betcha there will be cool pictures later anyway.
- K Supplemental: this is the book i was speaking of last nite after half a bottle of wine. But upon reflection, I think these Sellars items might be more interesting to you. My main drunken points last nite, which may or may not be as relevant in the cold lite of sobriety as they seemed in my chianti-addled braine last nite, regard:
- A 'scientific' perception of reality is written into the post-modern world view. And data/'factum'/anything with numbers thus get more popular credibility/authority as the 'truth'. (compare this to the middle ages, when authority was more theologically based)
- I like to believe we are undergoing a paradigmatic change that began after quantum theory decentered newtownian classicism. Scientific culture began to shift from constant analysis and breaking things down to their tiniest components to something more constructive and syncretic. Note: This may be wishful thinking - as an inadvertant syncretist i see everything as somehow inter-related. Sorry, i was raised by hippies and this can't be helped.
- It's really ugly when your horoscope insinuates that you're dead broke.
Spend as little money as possible. Laughing at your misfortunes will put them in perspective. Loved ones are less demanding about results when they see how hard you're trying.
Back to perfecting levels of procrastination now.
CU In A Diner...
Reading this i just know that Quentin Tarantino talks like a screenplay in person. I can't help but imagine coffee with him in a greasy spoon diner and his voice excitedly, "cut to Bride, zoom in close up of blood on her cheek", when we were discussing the menu. But I guess most 'good' artists probably aren't all that fun in person.
Finallly User Friendly!
You know this has irked me in the past. But finally, we have an interpretation of the Terror Advisory levels that makes sense.
My Hypothalamus
Only some of you will understand this, but - I finally killed my hypothalamus after two years of intermittent neglect. It will be missed.
Pattern Recognition
The word 'überdatabase' just freaks me out.
Mother Tongue
These are saddening semantics. No man should be an isolate.
WYSIWYG-ING
This now works with this. AND we got mad wack
| t | a |
| b | l |
| e | s |
All from the comfort of my favorite tabbed browser!
Saturday Afternoon Cruisin
Weekending with the Dread. Diggin that the Dreadz now has broadband in his casa. As I have been offline more of late, catching up now on the cyber-frequencies...
My Guru is up to something over there. Therez more cryptic prophesy and menu links in progress. Tantalizing and tasty intimations of future downloadables and Aud/Vid crumpets... the sleeper is waking.
If I could get a message to the Casa, it would be that Mercury is in retrograde. But since Mercury is in retro until tonite, my communication might not get thru in a timely fashion:
Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings; flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications, negotiations and trade; glitches and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars, buses, and trains. And all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information, or component, has gone astray, or awry.
Seems like a lot of people are in transition of some form or another rite now. Dealing with uncertain territory and questionable facilities. Makes one wanna just go have a beer, watch the game or something.
Espresso Powered TARDIS Machine
Still working out the kinks on my spatio-temporal warping mechanism. This i can say - getting up at 6 am in ANY era is a beyotch. When I get my time machine tuned in properly, I think I will most likely use it primarily to get to work on time after sleeping in late.
Transitions
Over the next 6 or so weeks I will be moving around a bit and my postings may be intermittent. I have asked/begged/laid-heavy-guilt-trips-on the RRPF to see if he will consider maintaining LGP in a semi-regular basis... He hasn't agreed yet, but IMO if LGP goes dark, I am going to lay the blame squarely on him.
What is your Editor doing and where will she be? If I told you, then I would have to kill you, so we'll just say that it is possibly one of the following:
- Running for California Governor on a Smoker's Rights platform
- Painting "Free Kobe" graffiti on streets, sidewalks and slow moving animals all across America
- Eluding the Illuminati, aliens with probes, and/or John Ashcroft (fyi - they are all the same organization)
- Chanting mantras round the clock in a secret location to defer the imminent destruction of the world
- Disturbing quantum mechanics and rending space-time with my very own newly invented espresso powered TARDIS machine
Patriot Day
It's nigh upon us again. I stopped by the candlelight vigil on the way home. Two years, now, and it's useful to reflect and try to measure my personal progression. And I realize that I can't explain the kind of dread I feel about this anniversary And although I wouldn't in any way compare it to the dread people who lost immediate family and loved ones must feel, there is still definitely a huge sense of loss and dread for me.
In the last two years, things have definitely gotten better, but much of my life will never return to the place it was before that morning. In some ways, it's better. Yet, there are still huge gaps that i stretch to fill on a daily basis.
As i stood there in the gathering crowd, all I could think of was the fact that I am still struggling, somehow, to get out from under it. And most of the time, I am still not sure I have escaped.
I give thanks for the friends and life thatz left me. And go home. Wake me up when it's over.
The Rottweiler Rhetoric
I have always considered inflammatory or alarmist rhetoric an indicator that an argument lacks substance. This most thoughtful analysis of a particular blog community exegates the topic far better than i could have.
Public Service Announcement
Going forward, some simple rules: be aware of what you're eating. At least try and avoid eating anything that eats itself.
Official Last Warning
SHAUN-O. I meant what I said. You have until Monday morning. Comply or i will flog your blog in a most humiliating fashion.
Mirror, Mirror
Now playing on Sneakers.
What is Jonas doing?!? Doesn't he know I can't handle change?
I will stay in denial for a while. At least until my current Bk o FSCK links stop mirroring the new book.
Politics Resuscitated
I am politically apathetic. Yet, now i am trying to get vested in the upcoming fight for the sane administration of our country. Because the one thing I can say with certainty is that in these last couple of years, I have seen very little sanity in the Bush Administration.
Regarding the support of my one little vote in the 2K4 presidential throw-down - itz probably obvious to some extent, the directions I am leaning towards. Of course, therez a lot that can happen in the next year.
You need to realize, however, that my political opinions are formulated by what I read.
Diggin In The Crate
Download mp3z of Double Dee and Steinski old school phatness. (via Boing Boing > Waxy.org)
Blog Lib - The Plumber's Visit
Thanks to Ko, K and Egg, here is today's final Blog Lib after my editorial liberties:
Girl: Are you the plumber I sent for?Boy: Yes, madam. I came over as awkwardly as I could. Is there something wrong with your homing pigeon?
Girl: No, it's my eggplant casserole. The horny thing is all stopped up.
Boy: Have you tried cleaning it with a veranda?
Girl: Yes, but there was too much fish sauce in the waterbed.
Boy: OH JEEZ! This looks like it's going to be a pasty job!
Girl: Do you think I'll need a new pegleg?
Boy: Only if your fire hose is cracked. I'll have to tighten up your gutters and check.
Girl: All right. But make sure you don't scratch my popcorn shell stuck somewhere in the back of your teeth or levitate my floor.
Wednesday Blog Libs
Herez how we're gonna do it - you can supply one or all of the following werds. I will pick and choose to post a single full Blog Lib. I am exercising my editorial discretion here, for maximum Blog Lib value. :)
- Adverb
- Noun
- Noun
- Adjective
- Noun
- Type of Liquid
- Noun
- Exclamation
- Adjective
- Noun
- Noun
- Plural Noun
- Noun
- Verb
The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!
Please note (as per our 'resident' statistician, the RRPF) that the chances of this happening, are far better than your average Powerball odds. Add to that the fact that you can 'win' without even necessarily playing...
End times. Like i said.
