Simulacra Ad Absurdium
This is just too twisted. But no - it actually makes perfect sense. And consequently, I have decided that I have to allow for the possibility that all of you are just paid actors.
"Even paranoid schizophrenics have enemies."
- RRPF
DANGER: Acronym
There seems to be a correlation between elaborate acronymic positioning and sneaky glib legislation. You've been warned. So, WTFO.
Feed Urself Low Grade Panic
In case you missed it in previous comments - LGP is RSS enabled (as well as other bloghorn.com blogs). What does this mean tho to the casual user (of which i am proudly one)? Well, lookee here for info and links to RSS Readers you can download. You can configure your new RSS reader to stalk for updates to your favorite blogs and newsites if they are RSS capable.
Blog Libs
And now, for the completed Mad Lib versions, blog style. Today's Mad Lib (tm) is called "Weather Report". So -
Ko's Blog Libs Weather Report:
"Here is tomorrow's weather report for My Bathroom and vicinity. Early tomorrow, a/an solipsistic front will collide with a mass of hot quarters moving from the north. This means we can expect ludicrous winds and occasional words by late afternoon. Wind velocity will be 6 miles an hour, and the high temperature should be around pi degrees. So if you're going out, you had better plan on wearing your neckties that cowboys wear."
Christy's Blog Libs Weather Report:
"Here is tomorrow's weather report for Botswana and vicinity. Early tomorrow, a/an supercalifragilisticixpialidocious front will collide with a mass of hot skunks moving from the north. This means we can expect antiestablishmentarian winds and occasional houndstooth jackets by late afternoon. Wind velocity will be 10 to the 6th miles an hour, and the high temperature should be around 7.665789098 degrees. So if you're going out, you had better plan on wearing your thong."
The RRPF's Blog Libs Weather Report:
"Here is tomorrow's weather report for The Big Red Spot of Jupiter and vicinity. Early tomorrow, a/an callipygian front will collide with a mass of hot beartraps moving from the north. This means we can expect liminal winds and occasional fossils by late afternoon. Wind velocity will be 52 miles an hour, and the high temperature should be around 1/2 degrees. So if you're going out, you had better plan on wearing your leg warmers."
UPDATE - K's Blog Libs Weather Report
"Here is tomorrow's weather report for Oz and vicinity. Early tomorrow, a/an conceivable front will collide with a mass of hot meanings moving from the north. This means we can expect chronological winds and occasional prerequisites by late afternoon. Wind velocity will be two miles an hour, and the high temperature should be around 13 degrees. So if you're going out, you had better plan on wearing your mask."
Mad Libs
You know the game. Gimme the following words in the comments and I will produce the completed Mad Lib later today :)
- Geographic location
- Adjective
- Plural Noun
- Adjective
- Plural Noun
- Number
- Number
- Article of Clothing
Frikt Up Filials
Again, with the 'end times'. But, you know something wack is up when you find yourself asking: "Whatever happened to parents who simply beat or abandon their kids?"
Meme Tracking
Wonderful action this interview meme is getting. Kat got it. Hofer got it. Now Ko's got it. And Ben says itz making the rounds on stlbloggers.com.
More importantly, tho, Phil has correctly answered the trick question regarding the airspeed velocity of an unladedn swallow and may pass on the Bridge of Death. More evidence that Phil was worthy of the "who would you whack with a trout" question that Jonas laid on him in an earlier round of this meme, is that he chose "any one of Zeno's Paradoxes" for an exercise to 'wow, amaze and alienate friends'. Something that The Editor of LGP is quite fond of herself. That, and i LOVE Wittgenstein - as my honors thesis devolved into semantic questioning of the subject/object dialectic, wherein old Witty was the only reasonable lifeline (kant can go ontologically frik himself). So.. quod era demonstratum: Phil is officially k3wl. :)
More Interview Meme Action
My revenge for not getting the 'whack with a trout' question is nigh!! Bwahahahahahah!!!
With no further adieu - Phil's Interview Questions:
- Recognizing the difference between a Hacker and a Coder, have you ever called someone 'leet', '1337' or '31337'. If so, did you mean it in a good way or a bad way? If you have not yet called someone '1337', who might you call that and why?
- If you had a choice between being a vampire or a zombie, which would you pick? Defend your answer with three points, excluding obvious diet-related reasons (blood vs. brains). You must assume that were you undead, you would not feel the same way about these respective diet limitations as you might right now.
- What drives anyone to seek a degree in Philosophy? Please incorporate the name of at least one philosopher (excluding Nietzsche and Sartre, please - thatz too easy), and if possible, make reference to one rhetorical exercise, logical proof or argument that can wow, amaze and alienate friends.
- This one oughta get you ready for this semester: What is your opinion of Anselm's Proof of God's Existence, and "ontological arguments" in general?
- And finally - What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Oh yeah - and i kno that you kno the rules, but i am beholden by the meme architecture to point out:
- If you want to participate, leave a comment saying "interview me."
- I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
- You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.
- You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
- When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Blog Pusher
Hope you guys enjoyed the RRPFz blog entries this weekend. As well as the new art he supplied for LGP. And altho I agree with ben that Gary Coleman in a tie is a truly frightening sight - indeed, perhaps a sign of the end times - I am going to leave that pic there for a few days anyway, or until it starts to unnerve me and/or infiltrate my dreams. Itz a worthy sacrifice, tho - itz all part of my evil plan to suck all my friends into blogging. They are an addictive group, and I know that if I give them a little taste, they'll get hooked... Thatz rite - I am a blog pusher. :)
And speaking of end times - be sure to check out Mars this Wednesday as recommended by RRPF. Many of you are asking right now - why is Mars coming so close?!? Well, let me just remind you.
Coming later - I drew a line in the sand regarding the interview questions Jonas built for Phil, and Phil crossed it. And altho, Phil is out scouting freshmeat and undoubtedly busy with getting back in the school groove, I will assault him later this evening with devious, probing interrogatories sure to push the boundaries of all acceptable behavior. Well, maybe not ALL that, but 5 questions anyway...
Do we have anything to put the evil spirits back in?
So what's God trying to tell us with this one...
At this time, I'd like to thank my parents for never trying to drive the devil out of me. Sometimes, he's been the only thing I've got going.
YT-RRPF
Astronomically profound - BLOGJACK
The editor has kindly "given up" some blogspace this weekend for me to share my thoughts and feelings with the readership of LGP. Anyhow, I don't know how you feel when you look up at the sky. Give that some thought. Think of the last time you really looked at the sky.
I'm talking about looking at an interesting cloud or a particularly starry night. Does it make you feel small and insignificant? Do you (like some others I know) feel that the view is somehow compromised by the knowledge that it is not really "yours"? That someone else may be seeing the same thing, right now at this instant. There are no personal sunsets. Or do you consider that you are looking at pretty much the same sky that man has gazed upon for centuries?
You have an opportunity to see something superlative this week. I'm talking about something the likes of which modern man has never seen (at least not at this magnitude). In your FACE, Galileo! I'm talking about the angry red planet which is tilting dangerously close to the Earth this week with a maximum brightness on Wednesday. It's been about 60,000 years since we had this close a look. Sometime after this but before that.
While this will not be the personal sunset that we sometimes yearn for, there is something satisfying about seeing this for me. I hope you get a chance to get outside on Wednesday night, preferably away from the nearest source of light pollution, and look up at Mars. It won't be hard to find and you will be seeing it in a way that I'm not sure human eyes will ever see it again.
YT - RRPF
Perpetuating Memes
Jonas gets responses from other interviewees. And altho I did covet Phil's trout question, I am pleased with Phil's answer and probably would have answered along similar lines. Particularly since Ashcroft is on tour rite now, promoting his next album.
Meanwhile here at LGP, you may notice that Ben not only answered my interview questions - he enabled trackbacks! Christy, however, is working thru a pre-birthday Jameson haze.
I will be out for the weekend, and without internet access, but some interesting stuff may still happen here on LGP. That's all I am gonna say, cuz that's all I know.
One more thing - John Kelso is an example of why i am proud to call Austin my hometown.
Interviewing Christy & Ben
So far I have only two takers for interviews (or 1.5, really - I am not actually sure Ben agreed to an interview, but I am gonna force one on him). As before, here are the rules:
- If you want to participate, leave a comment saying "interview me."
- I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
- You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.
- You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
- When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Now for the interviews!
Christy's* Interview Questions:
- As Bloghorn's first paying subscriber, how would you say the Bloghorn community has changed since you started?
- When did you first start reading LGP and why did continue? (yes, this assumes that you are you STILL reading LGP)
- Describe in detail why Adam Sandler belongs to you and not me.
- When you rule the world, what's your first order of business as "The Christy"?
- Do you have blog related dreams (including but not limited to - updating blog, deleting blog, reformatting blog, setting blog on fire)?
Ben's Interview Questions:
- As the developer of Bloghorn - how has your life changed since you started Bloghorn?
- You have a link to Math Textbooks Online on bumr.net. Is this part of an evil plot to take over the world, and if so, which textbook is best suited for this activity?
- How the hell do i enable and use a trackback?
- Do you dream code or code in your dreams?
- Have you ever secretly desired a Macintosh?
*BTW - Happy Birthday Christy!
Whoo Hoo I'm Interviewed!
Welcome to the wonderful interactivity of blogging. Jonas calls it a meme, and well, thatz good enuf for me. Basically, tho, one weblogger interviews another (at their request), the interviewee posts their interview on their blog, and perpetuates the interviewing as requested.
Or, in other words:
- If you want to participate, leave a comment saying "interview me."
- I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
- You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.
- You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
- When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Meanwhile, here are my answers to Jonas' interview questions:
The dreaded CA recall. You being the right-coaster, and red-blooded Texan at heart, what do you think about it?
Now, I love democracy - at least in theory. Additionally, I also love populist, progressive politics. So you would think I would be all for the CA recall. But in actuality, it just looks like a frikkin politically contrived mess to me - and the same shite is happening in a different way with the Texas redistricting. Conservatives are trying to decenter liberals, and calling it legislative process. And looking at the multitude of emergent candidates for california governer it would seem that liberals are pretty easily decentered.
Already the ROI on this gig is BELOW ZILCH, ya kno? Now you guys gotta spend millions of dollars for new elections when you already have a 38+billion deficit? I mean, why not just vote a new guy in next term? There are some things that just shouldn't be laws - because they are unenforceable or damaging to the overall welfare if they are ever inacted. Many of these are still on the books. It looks to me like this Recall is just such a law.
Is there one single industry certification that's worth more than the paper it's printed on?
(I am assuming you mean technical certifications) Nope. They are all bunk. Not to say that there isn't merit to what is taught and tested in the certification courses. But certification is shite without practical application and experience. In all fields, in all industries, in all times. For instance - I would hope my MD did a little more than pass a series of written tests before taking a scapel to me. Experience alone is a problem too, though - I mean, I think that it is important to have the 'book learning'. However, most of these certifications are a seriously overpriced scam at this point. And as a business manager, your experience is going to count a lot more in my mind when i hire you.
Blogging for non-profits? Good thing or potentially bad?
Everything is potentially bad. But in general, I think that any free/low cost communication channel is GOOD for anyone, but most especially Not-for-profits (NFPs) and Non-governmental-organizations (NGOs). The problem with NFPs/NGOs is that they are typically not the most tech-savvy of organizations, and will need to see demo's and prototypes and very clear diagrams with pretty pictures explaining just what the benefits of NFP/NGO blogging could be. I think they are also not the most efficient of organizations, and that they will need a WHOLE lot of education around processes for implementing, using and maintaining blogs in order to have them accomplish anything for them at all. Otherwise, they'll never get off the ground or be just one more failed initiative.
What's a bigger nuisance: clients or those guys in the "ten pieces or less" check-out line with a full shopping cart?
This is a close call. But clients have a greater impact on my life when they get annoying. And it lasts longer. This is a real sore point right now Jonas - and you know it. Phil really DID get better interview questions than me, even tho you said they are 'customized' for each of us. It makes me want to whack you over the head with a trout.
How's your TypePad account coming? Like it?
I dunno. I actually don't know how i like it. I haven't posted over there in some time, but I am keeping the Typepad for a little while, at least. I mean, I do like the Sneakas, I love them, actually. I can't wait to see where they go next.
However, I don't think I plan to ever move Low Grade Panic from Bloghorn. I gotta give massive props to Bloghorn, and Ben. Therez mucho new features in development here, toolwise, and ultimately everything i find in TP i will find here. Bloghorn has a community feel that I never got in TP, although there were definitely attempts made. So I will likely continue with both blogs. I also have many other blogs out there. Secret blogs. I am a borderline personality, so i need all kinds of blogs. They're for medicinal purposes.
Go Bag
In the wake of the blackout, they are really pushing this. Mylar blanket? Can't i just wrap myself in duct tape?
Regardless, I am definitely keeping my eye on this.
Critical Infrastructure
Maybe itz got something to do with the Martian apihelion* but it just seems like all kinds of wack ass crap is falling down on the job right now.
- The Frikkin Northeast Erie Loop Electric Grid Thing.
- Arizona Gas Pipeline Rupture.
- Legislative Gerrymandering.
- Gubernatorial Recall Craziness.
Add to this the fact that things are still blowing up with consistency, and escalating criticality. As well as the fact that 3 out of 5 people I talk to are not sure how they are paying rent/bills this month. Ok, maybe i don't ask this enuf. But are these the end times? If so, i wish they would hurry up and get on with it. I can't handle this pressure! BTW - I have decided, I AM Tweak.
*link stolen from FSCK
New York Unplugged
As of 9:06 pm tonite, the East Village is finally back online. The Editor is alive (although very dehydrated), and catching up on all the phonecalls. More later. For now - tho - i was thinking about ya'll even over here in the dark. I wrote ya a letta with the last of my computer battery:
14 Aug 2K3 - 430pm
Walking home from downtown and right about mott street it hits me that therez some kinda crazy going down. i had noticed that the walk/dont walk signs for the last two intersections werent working but it wasnt until two cars at the next intersection started honking at each other that i realized the traffic lites were out too. and walking past a shop i heard a woman say 'we cant even close the damn gates' (meaning the iron locks on the shopfront). I notice therez a lot of people standing around on the street.... And damn, therez an unusually robust amount of helicopters and siren action in the air, even for 430p.
Yep. i realize it slowly - therez a blackout downtown. wtf?!? and it wasnt even THAT hot today! the last blackout in NYC was three years ago and that was only in washington heights and only during 100+ temps?!? please god, let it just be chinatown thatz w/o power i think - please let alphacity be cool and refrigerated when i get there. i try to call queenie and flip - theyre in NYC for the weekend - maybe i can hang with them at their swanky hotel penthouse suite if indeed the east village is powerless - but of course the cell lines are jammed. i cant even get my own voicemail. By the time i cross houston, and see the same throngs of people milling about the sidewalks (i mean the street is always full of people, but usually they are on their way somewhere) i realize, that itz going to be a long nite.
At 4th and B a man on the street mutters to his coworkers - 'how the fuck am i gonna get back to queens now? subways and buses are fucked! i tell you one thing - i dont wanna be on this island when the sun goes down'... and suddenly i wanna get home asap. as i pass people, of course they are all saying the same thing. sept 11th. maybe itz an over-reaction, but hell, i was thinking it too. maybe that actually qualifies it as a definite over-reaction, tho.
then i remember i forgot to refill the brita this morning. well, no i didn't forget - i was late for jury duty and actually decided NOT to do it. Because the universe revolves around me i believe this decision of mine perhaps somehow caused the power to go out. because there will be zero cold water a la hot casa for pwylla after shez just walked 25+ blocks and 5 avenues with 30 lbs of computer and documents on her back.
i buy a liter of water at a dark and stifling corner grocery. the clerk perfunctorily says 'have a nice night' to me and i laugh and answer 'i HOPE so..' he laughs too, and shrugs.
14 Aug 2K3 800pm
so here it is, several hrs later. and by now i know (my brother is oddly somehow able to get thru on my cell phone during states of emergency) that itz not just downtown, the east side or even the ENTIRETY of NEW YORK CITY, but several other large cities through the NE, Midwest and Canada that are in a blackout now. i have heard that the water is 'fine' (thank god, cuz first thing i did was take a shower in the dark upon getting home), and that they expect to get the power on sometime tonite. I was able to get thru oddly to the desk of queenie and flipz hotel, and confirmed that they are not stuck in a subway, and had gone for something to eat.
And all i gotta say is - my neighborhood is really cool. Everyone is just chilling on the street and visiting. Exchanging what little information they can get from the outside regarding the situation. There is even this one guy on a bicycle thatz been circling the block playing the news on a battery operated radio loud enuf for people to hear. So theyre handling it... itz just a thing. still, new yorkers are nothing if not impatient. current estimates are that the power will return at around 9pm... i wonder how they'll sound if this goes on longer.
Things I Am Thinking While Having No Electricity, No Internet, No Cell Phone, 40 Minutes of Laptop Battery Power and One Teeny Little Flashlite
- Terrorism, of course. My bro said the offical werd is that itz NOT terrorism... but.. several large cities in the dark? sure sounds like critical infrastructure to me...
- Shoulda read that damn Ready.gov site closer.
- There is not a single roll of duct tape in this house.
- It would be nice to have a battery operated radio rite now.
- I think that being so damn excited about the Wifi in the jury room and feeling so damn enabled earlier today is somehow implicated in why i have no internet access right now
- Maybe, like Idle Muser, the universe wants me to experience the extremities of any spectrum and packages a 'fukkin awesome/fukkin tragic' dialectic into my day.
- Itz also probably because i was all optimistic with my commenting last nite on Idlez blog and frikkin jinxed myself.
- I think of Salaam's latest blog entries, and Sean's - and man we got it still so much better than baghdad/iraq.
- I hope queenie and flip are enjoying themselves during what is surely a historic event on some level.
- "I was in NYC in 2K3 during the big blackout!" has gotta give you some street cred at least.
- But with no elevators, the 14th floor penthouse suite hotel room may not seem all that swanky anymore.
- Tealight candles are not really all that good for reading.
- I shoulda picked up the clutter in my apartment cuz already i have tripped over several unidentified things in the dark.
14 Aug 2K3 900pm
still no power, but itz like a block party on the street. guitar playing, people laughing and drinking. there is a LOT of drinking. I mean,itz practically a tailgate party out there. i live half a block from a huge police station and they have their emergency back up generaters on and very brite lites so i feel safe, even if things somehow turn ugly on the street.
got a message from queenie and flip on my vmail - they are chilling on their roofdeck.
cell phone battery is down to one bar. bad. oh well. mofo thing wasnt working all that well anyway. computer battery down to 10 desparate minutes. :) loggin off now to save power.
14 Aug 2K3 1146pm
still no power, 7 min batt left on laptop. cell phone useless. party on street devolving. cops on street telling people to disband. apt is cozy, have 4 candles left. flashlite still werking. reading the atlantic monthly. very glad itz not too hot. hey - maybe there wont be any jury duty tomorrow :) batt critical
see ya on the other side...
Civic Duty v 2.0
Due to inclement weather (and i believe a mighty hangover) i failed to fully complete my jury duty last spring. So guess where i am today. But check it: things sure have changed around Juror Assembly Room 1121 since I was last here. The vending machines are better. Therez a TV Room. Therez a work room, with neato little cubby/desk things. But best of all... THEREZ A WIRELESS NODE. And, man what a difference this makes as far as my attitude about being here goes. I am actually getting tons of work done. I have been able to communicate with clients. Email phat docs. Chat with friends. I even took some pictures at lunch:
This is 100 Center Street. You know. From Law & Order? No, I am not in that building. I am in 111 Center Street, which is not nearly as photogenic nor famous.
Online Diarrheaist
Oh, dammit, whatz it all about anyway? i guess at 6 months, LGP is probably too young a blog to have one of those ponderous existential entries where the author questions why they blog and whether they will continue to blog... yada yada yada. Itz pretty clear to me why i blog. I like to write. And i like to imagine that people enjoy reading it. Well, actually - thatz really beside the point - ask anyone who knows me - if you are in the same room with me I will make you listen to what i write. Hell - I will make you listen to stuff anyone else writes, even. Your only defense is too glaze over, nod, and hope it goes away soon.
Cuz, I guess I really do want you all inside my head. As long as you don't cause a ruckus. In a way, it feels a tad dirty. This online journaling. I guess i equate it to a form of public masturbation.
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Robert A. Heinlein
The RRPF and I once considered a business case - after reading the Griffin and Sabine trilogy - we would buy the diaries and journals of angst-ridden teenagers, and replicate them as closely as possible in mass publication (i.e., swirly forced cursive with little hearts to dot the "i's", etc). We would pander to the both the public voyeurism and the diarists' secret desires to be heard.
Reading LiveJournal today, it hit me that we totally missed the curve on that one. With blogs, you can pretty much google up all the vicarious angst you need. And maybe we really do need it - that vicarious perspective on other people's emotions. Cuz honestly, sometimes the world seems pretty frikkin cold. Itz too easy to forget how to communicate with other people. Too easy to realize that we are all pretty much going thru every single day hoping no one calls us out on our real feelings. Even to the point of ignoring our real feelings.
Well, no worries - i bet that sooner or later there will be some reality-based programming to manufacture such functions. And we can all cooly manage our inner demons via the latest sitcoms.
BOys* -
Wanna impress the females? Sew ur own boxers.
*please note 'BOys' is absolutely in no way aligned, nor affiliated, with 'boyee (tm)'
Recognizing
My brother, boyee (tm), schoolz me regarding 'recognizing', and my apparent neglect to do so. In order to keep compliant with respect to any possible legal liability, the following lesson sample is posted replete with possible trademark/copyright insignia:
boyee(tm): you need to 'recognize' on your blog
Pwyllz: 'recognize' whom?
boyee(tm): uhuh. i cant believe you would theft copyright stuff from your own bro
Pwyllz: yeah yeah yeah - itz public domain.
boyee(tm): no. there is only ONE boyEE
boyee(tm): 'boyee' is me and only ME
boyee(tm): thats why im stating the fact..... i am the only boyee
boyee(tm): and unless it me being/doing the 'derivating'..... its not BOYEE (tm)
Pwyllz: well you cant stop me
Pwyllz: :P
boyee(tm): .. but i sure can slow you dopwn
boyee(tm): down
Pwyllz: lolol
boyee(tm): now WHY would you go and do something like that to family .....thats jus wrong. you can have all the boys you want....doing what ever...but there is only one boyee (tm)
boyee(tm): RECOGNIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZE.
Pwyllz: ok, ok. i will blog a retraction - just in case anyone gets the mistaken impression that i am anywhere near as coool as you, boyee (tm)
boyee(tm): no body said i was cool......i jus said i AM boyee (tm)
Pwyllz: hello. heat check.
Pwyllz: :D
boyee(tm): i aint laughin.
Pwyllz: well i sure as hell am :P
boyee(tm): check yo-SELF.......and dont misspell BOYEE (tm). 2 E's...no more, no less.
Pwyllz: yessir - i will make sure that all standard elements of the Boyee (tm) trademark are followed to the legal letter
boyee(tm): BUT if its in reference to me ...you better come correct
Pwyllz: yeah, you kno, i didnt mean to dis - i won't test ya... i will RECOGNIZE on da blog - and full on REPRESENT
boyee(tm): have a nice day:D
Pwyllz: as sista girl to the boyee
boyee(tm): you white
Pwyllz: hata
boyee(tm): you whiter than white
Pwyllz: i am frikkin translucent dude
Dry, Inc. Staff Positions Available
I am overwhelmed by werk again. I barely have time to pick out my own clothes, so I am more than thankful that Houseboyee is cooking up a storm lately. He even went out and added this to my library. Not sure how to use it myself, but damn glad that someone is instituting SOP's and documentation for the Houseboyee role, so that when he moves on, the position and duties can easily be transistioned to a new appointee.
And although I am not anywhere near the level of formalizing my plan to take over the werld that The Proprietess of CasaChristy has reached, I figure it is a good time as any to begin designing positions that may become available in the pilot planning and strategy group for my eventual global coup. I am still designing the actual workgroups and job descriptions, but think it will consist of:
- A 'prep' team of people who make all the plans and arrangements for my schedule (where I will stay, daily itinerary, travel arrangements, packing, ensuring general technical enablement - i.e., charge the cell phone!)
- An 'entourage' of people who manage my immediate needs (covers everything from making sure i wake up on time - ask Houseboyee, this is a problem as I have developed severe alarm clock immunity - that i am dressed, pumped up on coffee, have all the papers/nonsense i need before i walk out the door... etc, etc... it is also probably the responsibility of this team to ensure that at key points throughout the day i am reminded that i need to eat, and that i need to go the bathroom at least twice - especially if you see me start to do the 'pee pee' dance... also necessary - someone to pick up and assemble in one place the inevitable flurry of post-it notes and paper scraps with vital info scribbled on them that i produce throughout the day)
- A team of 'clean-up' type people who come along after i have left, pay the bills, collect and forward any equipment or items i accidentally left behind, and apologize to anyone i may have offended at happy hours.
If interested, let me know. I will add your name and contact info to the post-it pile.
Vicious Guard Dog
FYI... Meet Winnie. Every single word Shaun-O says is true - I have personally been attacked by this well-trained guard dog. She will mercilessly lick and tickle your feet. And if you can manage to get away from her, she will immediately go to werk on any unattended socks.
I do believe she'z got a foot fetish, but I would never say that to Shaun-O.
It's Quiet - TOO Quiet...
I fear I have been falling down on the job here - for too long now I have let you get by with a less than 'low grade' level of panic. Frankly, you've all been getting along too well and happily lately. We need to get back into the habit of worrying about things we can't control, imagining things that might not be, and facilitating general wigginess. So, as you go about your business, please continue to reflect on the following until you have managed to reach a desired level of amorphous anxiousness:
- Anything can go wrong at any time. In fact, something is most certainly going wrong somewhere right now.
- They are not telling you everything, and they are making sure no one else does either.
- They have insidious ways of making you do what they want... without your even knowing it!
- No one is paying attention. Most of the last 20 years has been one big mass hallucination.
Now, remember - shoot for a sort of mute hysteria - above all it is important to realize that you are powerless. Thank you, that is all.
I Know Jack...
.. and if you don't, you should. It's simple, but beautiful. 'Stylized' is the word that comes to mind. 'Zen', even:
Perhaps even more notable than Samurai Jack's unique sense of humor is its visuals. The show is often very simply animated, but with a highly cinematic style. The show makes excellent use of split-screen, cut shots, and close-ups. I'm not certain, but Samurai Jack may very well air in an entirely letter-boxed format. In addition, the painted backgrounds are just beautiful.
LibertyThink Lives
We dig LibertyThink - and not just because Valis was the first to ever comment on LGP, but also because much of the work they've done over there in the last few months has helped keep yours truly sane: the question is not whether or not you're paranoid - it's whether or not you're paranoid ENOUGH. And although Valis is taking a little sabbatical, I am sure that Melior and Blackjade will keep up the good work.
Scrod: The OTHER Whitefish
The main purpose of this blog entry is to use the werd "Scrod". But, aside from that - I could really get used to this houseboyee thing. Dinner tonite is eggplant pate, greek salad (with artichokes, feta, olives & pepperoncini), and broiled 'scrod'. Or, as houseboyee calls it: "UFO" (Unidentified Fish Object).
Call 4 Models
UML - "Not just for breakfast anymore"... Or, alternately, "Leave it to Business Managers to abstract and complicate simple things and/or utilize technical approaches for non-technical stuffs"... well.... i don't care -
... I love it. As a business management consultant, my job is basically: "find at least two new ways to say or show us what we already know." That's right, babee - I represent.
Surf and Turf
Along with the last post, please do not mistake this as an indicator of any continuing trend on this blog. These things are posted merely to satisfy your curiousity and/or round out your education*. Dry, Inc. is in no way officially advocating any of the activities seen herein, whether in the water or on dry land.
*(Oh - and it's Egg's bday, and I know she'll appreciate a little prawn action. Happy 29th, Egg!!)
BDSM Education
I am not ashamed to admit my ignorance - I had an idea what it was, from.. um.. context.. but I wanted to know what the actual abbreviation was for and noone could ever tell me.
Go on... click it. You know you want to.
Joy Ride
Sometimes four wheels just isn't enough joy. Hopefully, Ramon can find a support group of some sort.