Happy 2K4
Thatz it - I am throwing out the ouija board, tarot cards and runes, and cancelling that call to madam cleo. How can anyone doubt the oracular powers of Dictionary.com's word of the day any longer?
This year, despite an initial draft of resolutions that are, in general, good ideas, I am resolving to have no resolutions. I am just frikkin proud i made it thru 2K3 and hope that luck continues. Many thnx to all of you who continue to people my life. Consider yourselves kissed and hugged at 12:01 am ET tonite.
An Aside to Alex
Well, hello there, Keira 'Alex' Larson! Let me be the first in the blogosphere to welcome your 6 lbs 11 ozs of fellow capricornian joy! I hope your ride through this life will be cushy, warm and wonderful. And dudette! You pickt some super-rad parents for this trip, let me tell you what....
Your dad is sooo cool, he works hard and just has a way of really connecting with people. Plus he's hardcore good-looking, and that can't be bad for you!
And your mom - well, your mom taught me so much about what friendship means, i can only imagine what a wonderful momma she's gonna be. She's also hardcore good-looking! Girl! You stacked the cards!
Now, as your aunt Pwylla, I consider it my job over the coming years to spoil the hell out of you, take you drinking while your still underage, be the one you can talk to about sex (of course i will tell you parents, but only what they need to know), make sure you get to at least a couple heavy rock concerts, and in general (along with your parents), just make sure you're safe and have everything you ever need to be able to become any and everything you ever want to be.
Weird Wide WTF!?!
Jeez! It surely can't be due to one obscurely fetishistic post that LGP now seems to have pr0n spiders* from Amsterdam crawling all over my referrer stats? Who knows - maybe they're all over the bloghorn servers and not just LGP. Ben may know. Dammit, Jim, I'm a user not a techie.
But I have learned some things, today:
- 'Anal' is spelled the same in most languages, it seems
- 'Ass', isn't, however
- Everything is 'free' to a point, but sooner or later you must pay
- How to find and clear certain cookies from my browser
Early Adopter
It has taken less than a week for me to become addicted to del.icio.us, a hosted 'social bookmarks manager'. Basically, as i surf, i can bookmarklet-tag anything i want to find later, label and categorize it as per whatever personal schema i see fit. I can also check the front page and see what everyone else is bookmarking.
This is really helpful to me. If you display any of the following traits, you, too, may be a good candidate for the early adoption of this beta system:
- When you click on the Bookmark menu of your browser, it extends off the screen despite the creative use of no less than TWELVE folders and spacer thingies
- Your toolbar is so cluttered with drag and drop bookmarks that it, too extends off the screen, and REFUSES to accept any further new bookmarks
- You use tab-browser extensions for Firebird that allow you to save ENTIRE sessions and groups of related tabs as bookmarks, but still can't seem to find any frikkin thing later
- You own TWO computers that look this way
For The Record...
I do not own any 'official'* bondage gear. Despite the fact that I am apparently the first one my friends call with any questions related to sourcing and/or using said gear.
*Any miscellaneous leather, latex, rope, chains, feathers, silk scarves and/or hot wax that you may find at Dry, Inc headquarters do not count as they were not purchased nor recieved from any 'official' bondage or fetish shops, and if asked, I will maintain that their purpose and usage is innocuous and completely wholesome.
Biblical Type Numbers
I can't get my head around what 20K+ looks and feels like. I am sure this is from some inner resistance to the entire idea that so many concurrent deaths surely bespeaks some serious insensitivity on the part of the universe.
A Man Said To The Universe
A man said to the universe:
"Sir, I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."
- Stephen Crane, 1894
Voicemail Luv
I have spent this wknd chilling in the hills with the Dread, so my cell reception is spotty. This morning there are no less than 9 voicemails full of birthday love. Much thnx 2 all of youse for the wunderbar voicemail wishes. Special shout-out to Egg and Dawn-o, drunk and singing - twice - because they got cut off the first time. I will call all ya's and have synchronous holiday convos as soon as i get back to NYC.
WishGifting
Another cool thing I have come to realize about wishgifts, is that I can give things that are truly priceless. Some items (like a casino for the RRPF, or the Chalk Hill winery for Queenie and Phlp) could technically have a price. But I can also wishgift national monuments and parks - J-Lu gets a fixer-upper, Cousin Justin gets a work in progress. Aunt Jo now has a place for special ceremonies. And Ion Diode getza a nice hiking park with lotza waterfalls.
Boxing Day!?!
Well, maybe in the UK and Canada, but here at Dry, Inc., itz Pwylla's Birthday. Happy Me Day!
Flaky Christmas
Alas, the meterologists were promising us snow this afternoon/tonight, but have now flaked on it. So much for a white christmas. So damnit, making our own snow over here.
Wish Stockin Stuffers
So itz either a personal failing of some sort or an indication of my highly developed procrastination skills, that even with no material or monetary constraints on my wish-shopping, it appears that i won't be getting all my wish gifts out to people on time. Really, i am not as thoughtless as i appear - i have tons of stuff lined up gift-wise, some of which will be posted here (my luddite and/or technologically disabled wish gift recipients will get snail mail and/or phone calls).
For now tho - a quickie - stocking stuffer: With love for the RRPF, something you might find handy.
Blogrollin Mo Phatness
DAMN, but this was the longest shortest day of the year i have had in recent memory. Of course, my memory is shot due to all those inhalants i did in college back before they outlawed amyl nitrate. ("I vote we LEAN." c. Queenie Def, 1988 or so)*
So rather than creating any fluffy personal addition to the blogovoid, I shall instead point you to recent groovy additions on my blogroll:
- Happy Furry Puppy Story Time With Norbizness: This is honestly where i learned what 'jump the shark' means. Seriously. Price of being raised by hippies is missing out on some primo cultural allusions. Without the internet and Norbizness I would be so HOME SCHOOL.
- Crystal Vision: New Bloghorn blog! Purty pictures, often. Holidailies (which I still don't understand) out the whazoo, too.
- Dong Resin's Joint: Pure madness with a shiny cynical bow. Huff that shit.
- Doctor Grosz: Brooklyn's in da house! uh.. Greenwich! No, wait - Brooklyn! Whatevah - itz phat. And, artistically, a definite welcome counterpoint to my 'flea market aesthetics'* for any of our readers.
- ThatColoredFellasWeblog: Itz true - i will read a blog just cuz it has a good name. But TCF also delivers on substance. Substance! Whoa - Dude! You holding?!? :)
Again With The 'Chatter'
Suicide and murder rates traditionally spike over the holidays, so why not terrorist chatter, too? I will leave this logic unexamined, because itz frikkin early, and itz a Monday.
But at least this day promises to be short.
Random
I have established a history, now, of working (MY ASS OFF) without being paid and itz getting old. Check is in the mail this time from two (2) clients, so i don't know if that betters my chances or if itz the same old shite. Statistically, I think i am still lookin like a suckah. Whatevah.
After spending the last of my living money on monthly feminine necessities, I borrowed 40 bux from gi (enuf to get a weekz werth of metrocard, tobacco and cheap wine). All this on top of what i owe to Sam-i and Veeej. And oh g*d, letz not even talk about the credit cards. The irony here is that i was on the team who wrote the training for credit card collections for two of the three cards co's that call me incessantly.
But letz give thanx for the little things:
- The Shellster, Gi, and Rayya took me to see Bowie at Madison Square Garden monday nite... (my god, that manz music saved me from certain suicide at 14 alone a phreak in west texas)
- tonite, from the edge of Tompkins park, i saw the Empire State Bldg lit up blue and white for Hanukkah
- I got a HUGE package of food from stepdad for xmas (genuine New Mexican Green Chile HOT soup - PHAT PHAT PHAT!!!)
- In fact, people have been feeding me all week :)
- Shaun-o and da Rooster sent me a package (not to be opened until xmas)
- Momma sent me a package
- Aunt Kelly calls me every other day just cuz she misses me
- The Dread, in an uncharacteristic pre-planning mode, wants to take me out for my b-day (hint - jesus is just one day older than i)
- And despite the lag in pay, i do like my new work partners, ... they use cool fonts, how bad can they be?
Werd Seer
I am the werst kind of superstitious. My inadvertant poetic sensibilities don't stop with the more popular modes of fortune-telling and augury - horoscopes are for the masses. Oh, no - not I! Whenever I want to know how my day is going to turn out, I look to the Dictionary.com Word of The Day.
Pedagogy Linkdump
Both of my current projects are 'fun'. But project #2 is decidedly more exciting today. Researching scaffolding techniques and standards early education. Vygotsky out the wahzoo...
But, underpinning it all... you must realize that knowing Hegel, is loving Hegel... but still not necessarily understanding Hegel.
Fog of Work
How is it that i can work 14 hours straight and still not be sure if i got anything substantial done? All i know is that i did A LOT. But if you ask me for one more semi-formal daily status report against the work plan, or the estimated time to completion on any one of my six ungawdly deliverables, i WILL spit on you. A big, phlegmy, lugey spit.
Wait until Friday afternoon, dammit, when status reporting type shit is listed on my work plan.
Client Site Observation #238
Back now in a sort of cube mill. There are three, 4 ft high wall-type things that afford me the 'idea' of an office, as long as I don't stand up, and as long as I can pretend not to hear the guy in the cube next to me on the phone. And it was working - this illusion of privacy.
Until someone in the immediate vicinity farted.
Oh, the humanity.
Talkin 'Bout My Arrrggggregation
The following facts are seemingly unrelated, but in assuming so, you would be wrong:
- My news aggregator is now outa beta and soon costs money.
- I am penniless.
- I use several different computers, some of which aren't mine, in the course of my daily work.
- I like web page buttons.
I am still xferring many items from my news aggregator and it will grow to nearly three times itz current size by the time i am done. When itz fully done - you're damn right it'll be another button on the left nav.
Things That Should Be Free
The following should be free and accessible to any member of the public, no questions asked, and without having to show any proof of identification or residence:
- Water (preferably bottled, depending on locale)
- Ibuprofin, Motrin and Aleve
- 'Feminine' products
Wish Shoppin
I have practically unlimited wish-dollars to spend on the Imaginary gift series and already I have gotten stuck buying christies great estates in my wish-gift shopping. I know i should be getting much more creative and personal, but these places - jeeeezus - they are so rad... I wonder what it is, and on what level, that draws me to land/estate buying...
When i was young, i remember my grandfather (a child abandoned at age 9 who made his own way in the world), telling me that owning land, owning a home - this was the only way to be sure you wouldn't end up somewhere you never planned to be.
Maybe that's part of it.
But you have to realize that he said this after spending his first 15 or so years of viable employment buying racehorses and betting month's salaries on single malt 2 card stud bravado that only every now and then paid off. The last of the real western cowboys, who worked cattle on the XIT ranch when there was still such a thing, swaggered tall platnium blond chiseled roughness, could barely read or write his own name, but somehow persuaded my grandmarie - a northeastern finishing school lace curtain irish princess - into marrying into his penniless and happenstance freedom. She never looked back, and she never regreted it ("I was just trying to get out of Newark", she would tell me years later, but i know it was more than that, that made her dropt the ivy league fiance of 6 years, get married outside of the church, and move from the city to the backwoods, after only 2 weeks of knowing my grandfather).
When he died, the only property he'd ever bought was a wind weathered west texas bit of prairie with dilapidated cabin that was barely fit for cattle grazing, and who's sale just paid the funeral costs + taxes owed....
I dunno. Maybe it's that. But whatever. With my unlimited wish-dollas... Here is what I am getting for my Aunt Jo. Momma. And Aunt Kelly.
Blog Entry Title Space For Rent
If this week of work hadn't sukt all the creativity from my braine leaving only management consulting jargon echoing thru the vapidity ('leverage... leverage... leverage... add value... add value... add value...')... I would participate in Norbizness' Caption Contest.
Still that shouldn't stop you from doing it - therez actual material reward up fer grabs, even (altho of potentially dubious consequence).
Upsides 2 Putting On A Bra Everyday
Regular readers of LGP (and traumatized ex-roommates) will be familiar with this Editor's belief that any day i don't have to put on a bra, is a good day, indeed. Of course, this is all well and fine in practice, only as long as you have a good work-at-home option. And recently, I have had to be on a client site everyday.
But lemme tell you, this is almost worth wearing a bra - not only is the client uber-nice, and easy to work with this place is packed with tchotchkes!! In addition to the Flavia drink "system" (which makes up in quantity what it lacks in quality), there are also:
- free little midget (8 oz) bottles of Dasani water
- free breakfast muffins and bagels on friday mornings
- super-cheap, good cafeteria
- AND they were just handing out bags of chocolate at the entrance for no good reason that i can figure out.
Hey VEEJ @ WSIS!
For those of you interested in this kinda thingy - therez a huge conference going on in Geneva: WSIS (World Summit on the Information Society).
Out of general interest and because my friend Veej (who *screwed up our tickets to The Daily Show, which we forgive, cuz he buys us dinners and stuffs) is there, I have been following.
And it didn't take long for it to turn into a melee! It should only get MORE phun on the last day or so. For updates and analysis, I suggest watching Jonas (herez a good one), the BBC's Daily Summit Diary and The Daily Summit.
Lyrics to Sun Kil Moon "Carry Me Ohio"
Because at least 68 of you are searching for it, here are the lyrics i have been able to piece together from Mark Kozelek's inscrutable voice for "Carry Me Ohio" off the debut Sun Kil Moon album. These are updated since I saw him at Fez this last week (most excellent show BTW), and was able to better assess actual words from my swank position at the Jetset Records reserved table - so the dozen or so of you that i have already responded to via email should still check this newer version:
sorry thatUpdated 29Dec2K3, with input from taj
i could never love you back
i could never care enough
in these last days
her tears
fell on her pages found me out
on her words i dont know what
to do or say
wading through
warm canals and pools clear blue
the Tuscarawas flows into
the prairie land
riding back
to where the highway met
dead end tracks
the ground is now cement and glass
and far away
heal her soul, carry her, my angel, ohio
lingering in
what about the sweetness we knew
what about what's good what's true
from those days
can't count to
all the lovers i've burned through
so why do i still burn for you
i cannot say
sorry that
i could never love you back
i could never care enough in these last days
heal her soul, carry her, my angel, ohio
children blush
and gather round the home she rests
so poor and gold with their midwest
moon and sun
flashes bringing on
my open eyes the lightning storm
the tortured mist felt soft, felt warm
on my face
craving dreams
a million miles ago you see
and the star that i just dont see
anymore
words long gone
lost on journeys we walked on
lost are voices heard along the way
sorry for
never going by your door
never feeling love like that
anymore
heal her soul, carry her, my angel, ohio
3 Minute Blog
Seriously - in three minutes, cuz again, thatz all i have.
In my inbox this morning: email from Douglett, who will be in manhattan tonite thru the weekend, begging me to rescue him from "midtown hell". Tres cooooool.
- I have not seen Douglett in person since 1998.
- Back in the day we were partners-in-crime hell-bent on driving irreverence throughout the Plan I honors program.
- Indulgent professors let us do things like co-author papers on bisexual tendencies in Emily Dickinson's poetry.
- Really, itz rife with it.
- He has continued this noble mode of hip post-modern rhetorical investigations.
- Meanwhile,
- I make bulletted lists.
5 Minute Blog
In just 5 minutes, because thatz all i have. In bulletted format, because itz easiest and with all the presentations i have been building lately, it is now becoming how i think about everything:
- Saw Mark Kozelek of Sun Kil Moon (and formerly of the Red House Painters) last nite at Fez.
- Just Mark, alone on guitar.
- He sang my fav song.
- Plus a couple others that will become fav songs.
- The dude just writes heart-wrenching lyrics.
- I am SO tired today
- I would snort coffee
- If i could get it cut up small enough
- Because this brewed shite ain't werking.
- Tonight i go to bed at 10pm
- Dammit
Actually Working
Dow gets it up, but can't keep it up. Whadda tease.... Well, I am not one to look a gift economic recovery in the mouth, even if bushie-con-omists will persist in misassigning itz origin to tax cuts. I have recently gone from practically no work (one half-assed client) to 2.5 full time projects. So, back to the grindstone, now.
Shaun-O Update Update
For those of you who have been wondering why Shaun-O hasn't updated Phenobarbiedoll in damn near a month and a half... perhaps the following IM will elucidate:
Pwylla: you blog abandoner, youSo... I guess i will give it another week before i launch pre-emptive strikes.
Shaun-O: You are lucky number 151 to ride my ass today. OSHA requirements state that I can only have up to three people up my ass at any given time for shit I haven't done. Please kindly wait your turn.
Pwylla: heh, yeah. wouldnt wanna get fined for climbing without a step ladder or anything. :P
Ion Diode-Safe Movie Reviews
My friend, the Diode, has a thing about movie reviews containing spoilers. To the point where he often won't look at movie posters even, prior to viewing a film. So, although he in general sees movies wayeee before i do, i am taking extra care not to divulge too much in my movie reviews, just in case. Thus, follows Diode-safe reviews:
I liked this. The performances in it alone are worth seeing, but it could have been written better. Dardo figured out the ending before me (itz a regular competition we have). And he figured it out with at least a quarter of the movie left. That kinda sucked. Not sure Diode would like this one.
I loved this. Incredibly beautiful, instant classic Inarritu. Unexpected narrative structure - which is the kind of thing i dig. Also so much of the story is told without dialogue - by the mere juxtaposition or opposition of pictures and scenes. Plus - bonus Benecio del Torro points. I just love that man.
Mexican Director Alejandro Inarritu (ibid - Amores Perros) just frikkin rox intensely beautiful cinematography. Whereas some other foreign directors (namely Rodriguez and Woo*) rocked in their indigenous work but then pretty much sell out on their first big budget American films, Inarritu is still Inarritu. Compared to Amores Perros, this film IS a little bit slower, but the story is different, and it's appropriate. I do think that Diode would like this one.
*NOTE - the 'sold out' jury is still out on Woo, actually, until i see Paycheck, which looks promising (AND itz a PKD story=xtra bonus pts) despite the presence of Bennifer (which the Diode distinctly will NOT like).
Weekend in Review
Friday nite hit the Blue Note with Victoria and outa town guests. Saw Elvin Jones Jazz Machine - altho i am no jazz expert, very much enjoyed the EJJM interpretations of old standards (ie, Don't Mean A Thing, Take the A Train, Wonderful World). I would incompetently describe the sets as having a distinctly early 60's flavor. If sounds had 'flavors', that is. Welcome to one of my synesthetic moments.
Saturday, blizzard conditions off and on. Too frikkin cold to go anywhere and most everything closed anyway.
Minor spell of cabin fever, and i began to tear apart my apartment, calling it 'cleaning'. As usual, i bit off more than i can chew. Although the office furniture now is back in the office, and the living room is nominally returned to normal, the futons, kitched table and bedroom are swamped with the piles of papers and books that always seem to conspire against my organizational efforts whenever i do this sort of thing.
Now i estimate i am halfway thru the reconstruction of the office. And it has to get done in a couple hours here if i am still to complete the work-work i need to get done before tomorrow morning, and still make it to see Mystic River with Dardo and Masha.
I am still in my pjs. I have had two mongo cups o' espresso. But ass is still not in gear. Ugh. Ass may still be somewhat disabled from that damn idiopathic hypersomnia.
Bloghorn Continues to Rock
I have a panic button, now, too. That means that Low Grade Panic can go Defcon 4 at any point in time. Man, the POWER i feel every time i log into my bloghorn.com editor and see my 
* button sitting in my Admin toolbox. And altho i haven't used it yet, i am operating on a hair trigger over here, so you never frikkin kno.
I am so thankful, i wanna wish-gift ben $500K so that he can quit his job and devote himself strictly to bloghorn development. Now, I usually adhere to a 'no-strings attached' policy of gift-giving, but I am requesting that you consider using the extra $200K for the college fund.
*Please note: i believe this is the the beta version of the icon
Wish-Physics
One of the advantages of wish-gifts is that they are immune to temporal and spatial constraints. So although i was too busy to wish-shop in time for momz birthday (which was yesterday), my wish-gift for her will get there in time simply if i say it did.
Happy Birthday Mom! I wish-gift you:
A rare turquoise mohair Farnell teddy bear with clear and black glass eyes with brown painted backs, pronounced clipped muzzle, brown stitched nose, mouth, feet and webbed hand claws, swivel head, jointed limbs with tan brushed cotton pads, hump and squeaker --14½in. (37cm.) high, late 1920s (slight fading)
Meanwhile, other wish-gifting has begun. The RRPF exceeds the $10 Mill ceiling established for holiday wish-gift values and gives me an imaginary private Learjet, replete with pilot and fuel. I have set my imaginary pilot (his name is James, but I call him Jaime) to filing a flight plan for a trip to A-towne after the blizzard subsides. Now I truly WILL be there in spirit for x-mas.
And as I begin my wish-shopping in earnest, I realize that I, too, must increase the value of my arbitrarily set holiday wish-dollas fund. I think this year I can probably afford to go up to 90 or 100 Mill.
Itz The Thought That Counts & I'm Thinking LARGE
Close personal acquaintances and family members of Dry, Inc. have probably noticed a dearth of holiday gift-giving these last couple years. We regretfully inform you that this trend will likely continue for yet another Chanukah/Christmas season.
But, dear friends/family/lovers/mere acquaintances, that doesn't mean that i am not fully inspired by the spirit of giving this festive time of year. In fact I think of presents I would like to give many of you umpteen times a day - but alas, I've no real money to buy anything adequate and worthy of you guys. Thus, these last two years, I have pretty much taken a 'denial approach' to gift giving, pretending it wasn't happening, cuz i couldn't participate.
But earlier this week I realized that if I don't do something about it this year, I am going to be seriously depressed. And in a non-characteristic 'glass half-full' manuever, I had the following revelations in the following order:
- If I can't buy people things, I can still wish lotsa cool stuff for them.
- Hey! As long as i am wishing cool stuff for them, why limit myself to affordable 'wish-gifts'?
- Why not 'wish-shop' for people as if I could spend ungawdly amounts of money on each of them?
Individual wish-gift values will range between 100K and 1 mill. Just you wait!
OMG, I think I am actually excited about this now.
Weather Pixie Abuse
Itz frikkin cold and therez a snowstorm coming tomorrow just in time for the morning commute. Still, I love snow, so in celebration I wanted to get a weather pixie for LGP, temporarily, anyway.
Seems they're all out of pixies, though - I get the 'too many users' response and a short bulletted list of how you can help curb pixie abuse.
- Don't post to web boards
- Don't put on any page that refreshes constantly
- Don't add to email signatures
Idiopathic Hypersomnia
Known Knowns > Known Unknowns > Unknown Unknowns
- Getting up at the buttcrack of dawn does not get any easier, even after doing it for 3 days. > But maybe it could after 4 or 5 days. > Or, if i could for once manage to go to bed before 2 am the night before...
- Working 14 hr days does not get any easier after 3 days, either. > In fact, it may get harder.> Maybe i should take more long blogging breaks...
- ATT cell service in lower manhattan is actually most excellent. > Midtown, not-so-much... could be all that terrorist 'chatter'. > Or the feds, eavesdropping on the UN...
Bitchin Camaro!
I was 15 and living in West Texas when I found my first Dead Milkmen cassette (Big Lizard In My Backyard). That was a crazy wild summer, lemme tell you.
I think it was largely due to that tape that I, a mere freshman in High School, was able to schmooze my way into the cool, older crowd (who had cars). Thus, indirectly, this cassette is also implicated in the subsequent 'loss' of my virginity.
Well, hello glory days, because Clean Dean of the Dead Milkmen is now posting old tour diaries from 1985 on this blog called ...18 Years Ago...
I have half a mind to post my own diaries from the same period.
(Via eclecticism)
My Mad PPT Skills
I don't know if i would think this is so cool if i hadn't just spent the last four days working on a phat powerpoint deck. Yet, sadly, this is likely closer to the truth of my ppt design prowess.
Spellcheck Alias
The spellchecker on Outlook mail suggests that I should be named 'Paella'. I am considering it.
Media Bias Alert
"You're either with us or against us" - that goes for you stupid asses, too.