Baby -
I'm sorry, but I am just not feeling it... maybe, if you could, um... you know.. keep it up?
Get Ready to Rumble
In the right corner, weighing in at an infinitesimally subatomic Planck-let: quantum theory! And in the left corner, weighing in at an overwhelming correspondence of all matter: general relativity!
Can String Theory unify all forces of nature? Find out.
Cunning Linguists
I think I first understood how rhetoric can transform an unacceptable argument into something agreeable when I read Cicero's Pro Caelio.
But after reading George Lakoff expound on conservative rhetoric (via Boing Boing), and looking up some examples of the machine in action (Newt-cabulary, rhetorical shifts), I am ready to coin my own new phraseology for whatz been going on here: Sleight of Mouth.
Update: Billmon at The Whiskey Bar has consistently great posts deconstructing current sleight of mouth maneuvers
Radio Free East Village
Itz not exactly this. But it's close. If you live outside of an 11 block radius of the undisclosed location tho, you can stream it, babeee.
But keep it on the downlow, you know. Only tell your cool friends. Just a few of the weekly shows I am psyched about:
- Mondays 10-12pm "The Rag and Bone Shop of
the Heart" - Nic
Ratner
Love songs for the emotionally unavailable, anthems for the anhedonic and singalongs for the sexually compulsive. celebrating the human factor with everything from frank black to frank sinatra. - Tuesdays 10-12pm SQUISH
"the squishy from the crypt show"
theme:punk, hardcore, metal, emo, scremo, whatever the new york times is calling it this week...new and old favorites. band interviews, and concert calander, east village punk rock news and great stories from the old glory days of punk rock in the LES. - Thursdays 4-6pm "Rock and Roll Rasta"
Danny Zion
"Rock and Reggae soundclash with Danny Zion .every other thurs 4-6 pm..live and direct ready to rumble.Roots Reggae ,Dancehall and ska meets punk,metal,and classic rock..strictly heavy rythms for all rudeboy and rudegal massive.original Raggamuffin Rocker stylee..imagine "Suicidal Tendencies hangin out with Yellowman..100% niceness but not always polite." - Sundays
10-12pm "Minimal-Electronik Plus" -Veronica
Minimal-electronik music from the early 80's, including synthpunk, gothic,
and new wave groups from Germany ("Neue Deutsche Welle"), England,
Belgium, Denmark, and Spain. Some early punk as well.
Page Not Found
Not your typical 404. In fact, "that file is not within 100 miles of this website".
Goto the 404 Research Lab to find more non-existent returns. My favs:
Jump Back
Our regular readers will be familiar with your editor's time fetish. So you can well imagine our excitement about tonite'z time bending ritual.
Time is a complete construct, and thus my experience of it will forever mystify me. Particularly how we can collectively assume from moment to moment that itz invariable, constant, and somehow universal. But then when we go and do things like DST, which indicate itz arbitrary nature. And as far as I am concerned, the whole concept then loses any authority as mechanism of social control. See, all this playing willy nilly with the time just tells me that I can frikkin do with time what I like.
And I say, why stop at an hour tonight? You know what? I think I will take 23 hours, maybe. Rolllllllll 'em right on back. Fuck it - gimme a whole week. Give me freedom weeks, even.
No Gold Star for you!
TechNet Online, M$s indispensible help and resource site, defines the Micro$oft Project Central product as "The collaborative companion for MS Project 2000".
In this article, tho, the collaboration goes too far... Evidently overlooked since itz web publication in 1999 (likely via the fact that only poor schmucks such as i have had the patience to read through to the 13th section and 48th paragraph), editorial comments on this white paper somehow got integrated into itz text. (For reading ease, the editorial commentary is underlined) -
From the section titled Microsoft Central Clients:
"On clients using Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.01 or later, Microsoft Project Central Server do you mean server components here? There's not really a Server product, right? uses the Internet Explorer component installation model to detect and install the necessary components."
But best of all, from the Licensing section:
"Microsoft Project 2000 is shipped with Microsoft Project Central Server see previous comment? There's actually Microsoft Project Central and Microsoft Project Server?!! Are you talking about additional licenses? Shipped with a Microsoft Project Central server license? I don't know how to fix this . . . and Microsoft Project Central (single client license)."
Well, I don't know how to fix it either, nameless collaborative editor. Kudos to M$oftz attention to detail.
Irony supplemental: i don't know whether it was released after 1999, but there are now several project server products. Which is why, actually, i am reading this damn thing rite now in the first place.
Golden Age
This site is dedicated to the art of X-rated movie posters from the 1960s and 1970s. Considered by most to be the Golden Age of the pornographic movie, the period's rising production budgets generated a dramatic improvement in film quality and plot. Several all-time classics emerged. Deep Throat (1972), Behind The Green Door (1972), The Opening of Misty Beethoven (1976) and Debbie Does Dallas (1978) were among the many box-office hits – films even the critics admired. The success of two French-produced movies, Emmanuelle (1974) and The Story Of O (1975), also helped introduce the porno movie to the mass market.
Mind 'ow You Go, Love
What happens in your apt when you are not there? If you have my roommate, then Sonic Boom might do your dishes in the dead of nite.
Cruel, Fowl Fate
Oh, the humanity! Er.. I mean 'poultry'.
Weder Hand noch FuB haben
I am not sure I even want to know what the intentions behind this search were. Subsequently, I am also unsure of whether I should feel proud or embarassed that LGP is the number 1 hit for said search.
Sadness
Evidently, the Berman in Dry, Inc's corporate head office library fell victim to late nite wine-fueled philosophical discussions and their ensuing benevolent lending of texts. If you have seen our missing liber, please return it - the other postmodern texts with thinly veiled marxist leanings have become lonely.
Meatworks
I now posit that my dream the other nite of soldering URLs into my body could be due to one of two things:
- I am channeling the future collective unconscious
- I am reading too much of Warren Ellis' internet novel-in-progress LISTENER
Regime Change
Regime change meme redeaux, kids... Ramp up to this one... Thoughtful intro via Calpundit:
Every party has extremist elements. I can live with that, especially since most extremist elements have little actual power. But some political movements are so odious that decent people need to take active measures to shun them. In the same way that Democrats purged their party of communists in the 40s and Jim Crow racists in the 60s, and the Republicans purged their party of the Buchananites in the 90s, Republicans need to purge the Texas strain of messianic intolerance currently growing on their right wing. It is not harmless, it is not small, and it is not a joke.
And now a full dose of Conservatives Against Bush:
Conservatives Against Bush was founded to propound the conservative principles that this administration has forsaken. This President has expanded the welfare state, saddled future generations with debt, eroded some of our basic freedoms, and waged a spurious war in Iraq that in the end did not make the U.S. any safer. We seek to reenergize conservatives, so they will press for change in this administration.
They are finally frikkin waking up.
(links thnx to Fables of The Reconstruction and sTaRe)
TGI-Phriday
Not necessarily werk-safe (depends on where you work) audio fun from DIYmedia.
Damn Blog and PMS
Last nite - yet another blog related dream. I don't know what the underlying psychological basis is here - perhaps guilt for not updating LGP more regularly combined with real life PMS. Guys won't get this, but this month, in addition to the craving for red, rare meat and spinach, my legs ached liked someone was extracting marrow. Yes, this is TMI. But when your uterus feels like mine does right now, f*ck you if you can't handle it.
In my dream I was updating the blog, and at the same time cutting chunks out of my thighs (rectangular, 2 to 3 inches deep - thru the subcantaneous layer), down to the bone. Where I was placing the addresses of the URLs I wanted to link to - they were punched out old-school turing style on stainless steel placards - and I was sealing them under the chunks of flesh I had carved out.
I believe I was using a soldering iron for this, and iodine. That shit fukkin burned.
All I am saying is that 24 hrs later, on 2000 mg of Ibu, and red wine, I still feel it. And I could frikkin 86 anyone who even looked at me sideways right now.
State Sanctioned Relationship Week
Marriage Protection Week, 2003 - we certainly need protection from events like this.
Analyze This
Wack intersection of bloggers and a weird post-apocalyptic dream from last nite:
NYC was in a state of occupation of some sort. The Marriott Marquis at Times Square had been turned into combination refugee camp/orphanage/school. I think I was supposed to be a teacher or something. We had little water - there was a water line we had to wait in every morning where we were issued little 10 oz evian bottles.
While waiting in line I met psh (who has recently moved to midtown NYC in Real Life and who I have never met nor corresponded with outside of some mutual research on the undead). He mentioned that he'd no idea NYC smelled so bad, but that the lack of water (and hence bathing) might have something to do with that. Then, of course, there were the zombies that roamed the street and every evening tried to break into the downstairs lobby. They arguably smelled worse, I noted, or so my friend who runs the militia had told me.
I then spent the majority of the dream trying to find the class of refugee orphans I was supposed to teach, and finally found them in one of the lounges, but Franklin Covey had gotten there first and was running a "Seven Habits of Highly Effective DMZ Survivors" class.
I told an eleven year old - "I hope you didn't pay 1500 bux for this course, cuz itz not worth it."
Loss Stump
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Put a couple photos and links on Sneakers from Saturday. These are bad pics, but interesting matter. Ah, I love my neighborhood.
Popular Forensics
Watching late night reruns of "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" and on six separate occasions I have heard the CSI team (among themselves) refer to the victim as "the dead guy" (or alternatively "dead guy").
I may be a little tipsy right now, but I am not sure if this is the actual terminology used in real life forensic investigations.
NEW YORK CITY!?!? Get A Rope!
I have always considered myself more of an 'Austinite' than a 'Texan'. And technically I am still a registered Travis County voter although I have lived in NYC 4 years or so now. This is partly the result of still having a TX Driver's License. It's complicated, but it goes like this - my birthday is around the holidays, and I was in A-town when it last expired, and got it renewed there using a family member's address. I never had the urgency to get it changed over since in NYC I never need it except to get into clubs. Also, during the last important election, I was actually on a long term project in Tejas, and just voting in Austin while I was there was much easier than the proxy ballot BS I woulda needed for NY.
Well thanks to the Gerrymandering Texas Republicans it is no longer all that unusual for voters in Travis County to be lumped in with voters hundreds of frikkin miles away and further outside their constituency than the neighbors across the street.
For anyone unfamiliar with Texas politics, let me explain why this is an issue. Austin has historically consistently voted far more liberally and leftward than the entire rest of the gotdamn state. Hence my assertion that I am an Austinite. Well, it appears that little problem is solved now.
I guess it's time for me to offically become a Yankee.
NYC Street Love
FU if you walk. Not our problem.
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Put Ur Money Where Ur Mouth Is America
These last few months I have had an Iraq mental block. It began sometime after we ditched diplomacy and before the first bombs fell. After watching tonight's Frontline "Truth, War and Consequences" (which you can view online beginning Saturday) I have two primary thoughts:
- I was right - the way we went about this war was not truly justified in terms of national security, terrorism, and/or the type of world I want to create/live in. Iraq was not a threat worthy of the ideologically suspect pre-emptive doctrine.
- None of that matters. We made our bed and we better fukkin lie in it. Everything we believe in, everything that we proclaim to be about, and our world credibility as a democratic nation is completely dependent at this point on how well we can deliver on the "Iraqi Freedom "promises. We need to DO this, do it QUICKLY.
The cost of doing this was not considered adequately, and although there were the beginnings of a plan for reconstruction, it was not completed nor has it been implemented well. Two numbers are sticking with me now: the estimated cost to REPAIR (not 'improve', not 'maintain', not 'operate') Iraq's basic infrastructure is $100 billion. The cost of occupation is an additional $4 billion a month on top of that.
And even though so many of us are out of work, out of places to live, out of health care and have had our planned futures derailed - we have no choice but to support cleaning up the shite storm we enabled over there. If we fail to follow through here, we are truly supporting terrorism at this point. You wonder how Al Queda was able to recruit 19 people to do what they did? An occupied, fucked Iraq will bring them an exponential return.
Mostly - I really think it's clear we can't do it alone. Not only can we NOT afford it, itz stressing our ability to protect ourselves HERE. So, even if it means lying fukkin prostrate on the floor of the UN Security Council - our leadership needs to step the hell up.
You and I, meanwhile, well, we get to pay the price for not requiring a reasonable amount of due diligence from our leaders and not being involved or informed beyond the propaganda. It's time for accountability on all levels.
World City
Ok, World City is freaking me out even more. I wonder if Razanne has a 'Dream House' there.
Styling, Profiling... Serial Groping
"I'm going back to Cali, Cali, Cali
I'm going back to Cali - no man I don't think so"
Sing it
(link via Boing Boing)
The Cost of Things
What I would not do for money?
The following items are not acceptable, for reasons of principle (and/or logistics):
- Take off all of my clothes (please note the qualifying word here).
- Marry into a loveless relationship.
- Sell children into slavery.
- Enter reality-based TV show competitions like Survivor, Fear Factor, etc.
- Invade an oil rich country.
- Work for 'The Man', The Illuminati, The DOD, and/or Zionist Conspirators
- Busk.
- Sell my soul.
- Mine coal.
- Wait tables.
Mile High Club
Because i have elite connections, I am one of the lucky few who got a pre-release copy of this band's new album. FYI - find it, buy it, love it, live it. Especially tracks #3, 9, 10, & 14. It will soon be available here if your local indie record shop is so lame as not to have it.
And I am not just saying that cuz Shelley is my friend. Seriously.
The More You Know...
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This Public Awareness Message brought to you courtesy of Shock and Awe (click link for impressively documented timeline) and Fables of the Reconstruction.
Dissonant Cognitive Developments
Use this fully-equipped Undercover Van and Police 4WD to stop crime in World City. The undercover officer monitors criminals using high-tech surveillance equipment in the Undercover Van. When it's time to go in for the arrest, the Police 4WD swoops in and catches the bad guys in the act. Includes two vehicles, two mini-figures and accessories. 151 LEGO pieces. Age: 7-14 yearsWhat would Piaget say? Ages 7 through 14.
Country & Western
Today's completed Blog Lib via Christy and Egg/Snork/Schmoo-
The most cantilevered music in the U.S. today is called "Country and Obtuse" music. The musicians all wear cowboy Valley-girl era Miniskirts and play electric lemmings. They sing about roping elephants and cohabitating out in the stable. In a lot of songs, the people end up with a broken optic nerve and vow they will never disinfect again. Most country records are made in Nashville, Tennessee, the home of the Scatalogical Old Opry. Most cowboys are just ordinary schmoos who wear big hats and tell even bigger cantelopes.
Also - This editor obviously isn't the only one using a Mad-LibsR process with her staff.
Belated Blog Libs
Yeah yeah yeah - we know we've been falling down on the job with respect to the Blog Libs. All right, already. Submit some or all of the following in the comments section.
- Adjective
- Adjective
- Article of clothing (plural)
- Plural noun
- Animal (plural)
- Verb ending in "ing"
- Part of the body
- Verb
- Adjective
- Plural noun
- Plural noun
Quid Pro UNESCO
What?!? Doesn't anyone appreciate our intense diplomatic efforts?!?
Pwylla's Inferno
Hipsters, Objectivists
Circle I Limbo
Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind
Militant Vegans, General asshats
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow
Bill Gates
Circle IV Rolling Weights
George Bush
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled
River Styx
Republicans
Circle VI Buried for Eternity
River Phlegyas
John Ashcroft, Rumsfeld
Circle VII Burning Sands
Rednecks
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement
Creationists, Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice